Recently I have found that forgiveness, especially concerning matters of the heart, has been a recurring theme with both those that I work with and friends.
There are so many who have had experiences that really hurt them and left them angry. It can be hard to not take it personally when people we let into our hearts hurt us. Whether it is our mother or father who betrayed our trust by not being the mother or father we needed growing up, or a partner who reveals who they really are when their secret deceptions come to the surface. When someone says they love you (or you think they should) and then does things that are not loving, it has the power to hurt you. You can become resentful towards others, blaming them or expect the same treatment from new people, from now on. Or, by holding on to this pain you can create resentment towards yourself, creating low self-esteem. These feelings and beliefs will attract more of the same experiences because a part of you expects them.
Forgiveness is the key to healing these types of experiences and the feelings of hurt and anger when you have faith in someone who lets you down. Now, most people when I tell them this look at me knowingly but wince at the prospect of forgiving someone who has just betrayed them or was careless emotionally. The first reaction is often, “What? Forgive them? Then they get away with it! No! They should be punished or suffer as much as I am, what they did was wrong. I can’t forgive the lying, the cheating, the abuse……..”.
It is totally understandable that we would react this way, our whole foundation of trusting has been shaken, everything we believed about love and loving shattered. However, how much power are we willing to give these people and experiences, over us and our ability to move forward? Sure, take the time to mourn the loss of an expectation you had about someone, then stop! Focus on learning from the experience and using the knowledge to be better next time, instead of creating bitterness, punishing everyone in the world with your judgement because you now believe everyone is like whoever hurt you.
I ask people to find it in their loving hearts to forgive those who have trespassed against them. Why? It is one of the most powerful ways to release the negative effects of an experience. If you think you have forgiven someone but the feelings are still there when you think about them or the experience, you still harbour anger. Your energy vibration sends a beacon out into the world and the same level of energy will start to be attracted to yours. You then attract more of the same experiences, and reasons to be angry, into your life.
You are an electric and magnetic being, your thoughts and feelings are electromagnetic. Like attracts like, what you think and feel is what experiences you attract more of. When you refuse to forgive someone for something awful they did to you, you keep the experience alive inside you. You only hurt yourself when you do not forgive, it makes healing from a painful experience stretch out even longer.
Why wait? You know you are moving on so let’s start now. Forgiveness is a form of love, a high vibration emotion. Love yourself enough to let go, learn from the experience and let the rest go. Forgiveness, in my definition, is not saying that it was OK for someone to do whatever they did to you, it was not OK. However, it does mean that you are finished giving any more life to your thoughts and feelings of the experience any longer. Forgive yourself for your part, for not seeing what there because you wanted to believe in someone, or forgiving someone who was not able to be kind and responsible because they had a tough childhood too and never healed. It does not mean what they did was OK; it says it is over and you are ready to release it from your being. This is what I mean about forgiveness. This explanation often makes it more palatable for people to forgive a tough situation so they can release it.
Forgiveness is a very powerful vibration of Love. When you are sincere in your forgiveness, you raise your own vibration and attract more happiness and peace in your life while remaining open to trusting people, not thinking everyone is the same. Give yourself permission to be open to new possibilities, knowing you are stronger, knowing that you deserve to be happy and having faith you will experience it.
Forgiveness is powerful medicine and you have it in abundance if you acknowledge it. Surrender pain for moving on and releasing yourself and others from any negative feelings their memory may solicit. Today is a great day to begin again, the possibilities of happiness are limitless and it is a never too late!
Forgiveness creates freedom to be more of who YOU really are and attract the experiences you desire to have rather the ones you have held onto that block growth. State your forgiveness out loud and use the power of sound to hear and send out your commitment to forgive. May you find the strength and courage to forgive yourself and others today for the wrongs they have done you and set yourself free!